What Motivates You?

Do you know what motivates you? Why you get up every morning and do what you do?

It is very important to find out where does your motivation come from so when the going gets tough you can reach out and not only try and get motivated but also identify which Needs you need to meet to be able to carry on.

You also must realise that motivation is an ongoing process. I'm sure you've read a quote somewhere on social media you resonated with and though how great it is only to forget it. We cannot possibly retain every cool thing we read unless it's lifechanging and a strong emotion is attached to it.

Where to start?

First, think about what do you think does motivate you? In my trainings we talk about six needs but it really is two that will either get you up or get you down if you don't have those needs met.

Lets start with Certainty and the need for safety but also control. Anyone who's main need is to be in control of their life struggles greatly during the pandemic. Myself included. If you're wondering why you or someone you know can't just snap out of it this might be the reason. The best way, yet not the easiest is to identify areas of your life you can control. What can you do that is within your control, including your attitude. Again, not so easliy done. I believe this Need is the hardest especially during pandemic. However reminding yourself on regular basis what is within your control can help you through this. Also identifying your second Need might help you to channel the focus.

The opposite of certainty is Variety. Maybe you need change and take risks on regular basis. For you, it might be difficult to understand why some people suffer. You might see the times of constant change and uncertainty as exciting and full of opportunities. Unexpected change that can bring benefits into your life. If this is your high Need than you probably sail through the pandemic not understanding what the fuss is about. You'll see lots of great things that came out of it. I'm sure there are and I can see them too but be patient and understanding if others don't see it the same way. Every person has been affected in different way.

There are many people for whom Connection and Love is an important Need. Feeling of belonging to a community or a group of people is stronger than anything else. Those people will find the current situation very difficult unless they manage to stay connected with people through other than face to face avenues. As social 'creatures' we all need human contact even if it's just a friendly face at the check out in the supermarket or someone smiling at us. Just be careful you're not too attached to others. This can make it difficult when the other person or a group is no longer there. But the need for connection is. Building Healthy Boundaries is important here.

Significance and the Need to recognition are important to some people. Most people want to know that they have done a great job but there are some whose Need to Recognition is very high. This can work against you if you crave likes and high social media interactions to validate yourself. It's important to identify what is it that you really need and how can you have this Need met without damaging your real life relationships. There is nothing wrong with needing validation but knowing when it's due to lack of confidence or self esteem and fix 'over the top' behaviour might be a way to a healthier life without expecting likes on social media.

If one of your main Needs is Growth and learning then asking yourself 'What can I learn from this?' will help you move forward and find a positive in seemingly negative situation. Now, this question will not work with everyone, especially if learning and growth is nowhere near the top on the priority list. So be careful where and with whom you use it with.

Last on the list but not least is the Need for Contribution. Without it we wouldn't have charities and voluntary organisations. Many people find their passion or help in groups because of their own experience. It gives them a purpose in life and a chance to give back. But I've also met people who would never do anything for free and cannot understand why anyone would. It just shows how we are driven by different Needs. If Contribution is what drives you, make sure you keep your boundaries and don't burn out, look after yourself and your family first.

Can you identify your two Needs that drive everything you do? These might be different in your home and work life. It's when you don't have your needs met you can see yourself detoriating or becoming frustrated so knowing what is it that keeps you going can help you stay focused and on track. And if you are supporting someone else, remember their Needs might be different to yours. Try and find out what motivates them to help them through.

#selfawareness #selfdevelopment #supportingothers

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